A photoblog and other things

Nobody really knows where hurricane Ivan is going to hit. Whatever the case, we’ll probably feel some of the effects here. I and a cow-orker are contemplating getting out of Florida for the weekend through to early next week and heading to somewhere like… ooh New York. A few reasons for this:

1) It’s far enough up North that the hurricane couldn’t hit us there.

2) It would be cheaper flying North than West (so we’ve been told), also taking into account the considerable costs in getting a ticket at such short notice.

3) It’s New York.

4) Due to the emergency situation, the company will pay for all costs (within reason – it may turn out that New York is too far – or too wishful thinking).

5) The Sheraton that I was going to shack up in for the weekend has recently had an influx of what I would call ‘questionable’ people. Ok, they’re here to fix up things that have been damaged from the previous hurricane and their company has provided them with accommodation. Normally it wouldn’t worry me at all. There are, however, over 100 of them. They will be locked down like the rest of us in the hotel for the whole weekend and they’ll probably have copious supplies of alcohol (hell, we did for the last one). Yes it’s cliched and you may think I’m being pretentious, but I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks at the moment. I’m not going to take the risk of being in the same hotel with them. They’re snorting and belching already and I feel like I’ve already been sized up. I just wouldn’t feel safe staying there.

6) The other choice of course is my apartment here, but if a hurricane did hit I am on the top floor and on the corner. That’s practically one of the most exposed apartments possible. Plus, there is no backup power here.

So, I’m in for another interesting weekend. I’m curious to see how this one pans out.

P.S. Oh and Mum, don’t worry 🙂

This is unbelievable. This link *should* spin you off to a saved image of the predicted track of hurricane Ivan. I’ve marked a red cross indicating my approximate location. If the image link doesn’t work, this site has the latest updates on the hurricanes that may be threatening the region.

Ivan is currently a category 5 hurricane (the worst you can get) with wind speeds up to 165 mph (~260 kph). That is bloody fast. I was reading up on hurricanes and I think the worst winds recorded have been 200 mph (320 kph) so Ivan has a way to go yet. If the hurricane continues on that predicted track then it could be worse than Frances was. I was lucky with Frances because I was on the south-western side of it. Plus, I was a little south of where most of the damage was. *I think* the north-eastern side is typically the worst in anti-clockwise hurricanes/cyclones, and it looks like it may be that side that hits here. We’ll see what happens.

I just received a funny e-mail about hurricane preparation in Florida:

Subject: Notice to Florida Homeowners regarding Hurricanes

Notice to Florida Homeowners

You are about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you’re going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two basic meteorological points:

1. There is no need to panic.

2. We could all be killed.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you are new to the area, you’re probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we’ll get hit by “the big one”. Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

STEP 1. – Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.

STEP 2. – Put these supplies into your car.

STEP 3. – Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida. We’ll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:

HOMEOWNERS’ INSURANCE:

If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:

1. It is reasonably well-built

2. It is located in Nebraska.

Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you’ll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane George, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week, I’m covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.

SHUTTERS:

Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and — if it’s a major hurricane — all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

Plywood shutters:

The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they’re cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.

Sheet-metal shutters:

The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

Roll-down shutters:

The advantages are that they’re very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.

“Hurricane-proof” windows:

These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the

salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.

“Hurricane Proofing” Your Property:

As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc. You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don’t have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

EVACUATION ROUTE:

If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver’s license; if it says “Florida,” you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES:

If you don’t evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Florida

tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM. In addition it is best to leave your cars gas tank on Empty. And plan to fill it after the storm. In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:

1. 23 flashlights – At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.

2. Bleach – (No, I don’t know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for, but it’s traditional, so GET some)

3. A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.

4. A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)

5. An Assault rifle. (This will be used to fight off the looting mobs afterwards!)

6. A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Camille; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)

7. $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay inside.

Good luck, and remember: It’s great living in Paradise!

Heh, all so true.

I’ve finally swung around to thinking in US dollars and an Eastern US timezone. Hence, you may notice that the posts have all been reset to more reasonable times since I changed the settings for my blog (i.e. not Adelaide timezone anymore). With that little bit of info I’m sure you’ll sleep well tonight.

Well, I reckon I might go study some hurricane/cyclone theory now. I’m such a freakin’ nerd.

I’ve only got a few of them uploaded. For some reason I’ve become really picky with pictures lately and a lot of the ones that were taken just don’t cut it. I had to put some up from Disney World though, so you can find them here. There are a few other pics from Miami Zoo that I haven’t put up, and probably won’t put up. I mean, if you want to see a giraffe, go to the zoo.

I should really try and get to bed *before* 12 for once…

If you have one, I guess that is. I’m amazed it took me this long to get one. I gots me a new 40GB iPod yesterday and I friggen love it. I’ve been walking around everywhere listening to my music collection, probably looking like a bit of a wankerchop, but oh well. I also realised how disorganised my mp3 collection was. A lot of the mp3 tags are all screwed up and iTunes reorganised the directory structure… shit. Now I don’t know where a lot of my music is hidden. I’ve half filled my iPod already and have currently around 4000 songs to choose from. Would you believe *most* of them are actually legit? I forgot some of the music I had, which was probably a good thing. I think my mind was actually protecting me in some way by doing that. Ooh – INXS is playing. Gotta love that shuffle function 🙂

Whilst I was couped up in the Sheraton hotel on the weekend I got the opportunity to meet a few new people. A couple of them were from Jamaica, and hearing them say “three” as “tree” and “theatre” as “tear-ter” cracked me up mun. I hope to catch up with them when/if I go to Jamaica, or at least I could get some good advice on where to go.

Ooh – “Run Away” by the Real McCoy is playing. Ahh the memories…