A photoblog and other things

Don’t ask me how the hell I found this site… today hasn’t been the most productive work day. Anyway, here is the link to the site: http://www.convictcreations.com/culture/music.htm.

It only really gets interesting about half way down, but this is the part that really made me laugh:

“Australian men are renowned for having the dancing rhythm of Frankenstein…their lack of rhythm and stiff knees has many of them resembling a chicken or jack in the box bouncing from side to side.”

Hehe. Plus, the site’s got the words to “Bloke” and “Land down under”. Can’t go wrong there.

This post is already a little weird from the headline, but I was a little apprehensive when I walked into a barber yesterday to get a haircut. My view of the US and haircuts was not a good one. I don’t know where I got that perception from, but it’s been stuck in my mind for ages. The barber spoke very little English and I was trying to tell them step by step how to cut my hair, because it seemed the Spanish-speaking barber didn’t understand “one-inch off the whole way round”. Anyway, I finished with the ordeal and walked outside. I put my hand on the back of my neck and felt something weird… something I hadn’t felt since the 80’s. Something that I thought I’d put behind me a long time ago. I had a mullet. I looked at the reflection in the barber shop window and saw a redneck. I had an urge to smash my front teeth out and buy a check shirt and braces and call myself “Cletus”. I fought the urge, raced back inside the barber shop and said “This won’t do!” and got that mullet removed. Thank God for that.

Ok, let me try and sum up the Bahamas in a few short points:

– The most rubbish lying around I’ve ever seen.

– The most run-down places I’ve ever seen.

– The clearest water I’ve ever seen.

– The most stray dogs I’ve ever seen.

– The most pot-holes in roads I’ve ever seen.

– Surprisingly expensive.

Actually, that summary only applies the New Providence and Paradise islands. I have approximately 700 more islands to visit to get a real feel for the Bahamas.

We stayed at a place called Orange Hill beach inn, and it’s run like an episode of Fawlty Towers. Bloody funny stuff. It was a simple place, comparitively cheap, and just opposite a beach that had sand like icing sugar. The people who ran it were some of the nicest people I’ve met.

I ran into the “Grass? Weed?” guy again. I swear, he works subliminally. I was walking around a corner and he was coming the opposite way and he said “Grass? Weed?” and just kept on walking. I was left standing there wondering if he actually said anything at all or whether I just imagined it. There was also a peanut guy who seemed to be all over the island (New Providence island) at one time.

The Bahamas was in a real mess, but that’s probably because it got pummeled by a stack of hurricanes. I got to see a lot of it because I hired out a car and went cruising around with the family. The roads were in shocking condition and I got a completely flat tire, whoops, tyre at one stage plus another one that was on the way. It was also a bit weird driving on the left side of the road in a left hand drive, as is how driving is done in the Bahamas.

One of the ways we got into Nassau from our hotel before I hired a car was by the Jitney service, and it only cost a dollar. All the locals use it and the drivers try and pile as many people into the bus as possible. One of the drivers had a picture of Jesus Christ on his windshield, and he put a tape into a VCR and proceeded to play a Gospel movie for the duration of the bus trip. It was like a mass conversion attempt.

Well, I’m a bit stuffed so I can’t be arsed writing anymore. Perhaps later I’ll post some pics with some pseudo-witty comments from the trip? Yeah, that’s about as likely as me posting up all the other pics I’ve been meaning to get out there. I must note though that a record was achieved this week with the number of views of my webshots account. Out of the 267 views, 251 of them were from the Fantasy Fest album. Not bad! I’ll have to remember to appeal to the basic human (male) desire to see scantily clad women. For the ladies reading this, sorry about that. Your only hope of seeing any studs in my pictures is if there was a guy standing in the general vicinity of a scantily clad female, and even then he may be out of focus. What I’ll have to remember to do is increase the depth of field by setting a higher f/stop and slower shutter speed when taking pictures so more flesh is in focus. Hehe.

and it’s been quite an experience so far. I rented out some rooms at a place called the “Orange Hill beach inn”. It’s quite unlike the normal resorts you see around this area, but that’s exactly what I wanted – to get away from that sort of stuff. So many people come here to the resorts and end up spending most of their time gambling in Casinos. We had an authentic Thanksgiving day meal at the inn last night – it was pretty nice. So far I’ve seen a place burning down, a guy ask us if we wanted to buy some weed, and some crazy arse drivers. Lots of damage around here due to the hurricanes that came through a couple of months ago. Anyway, my internet cafe time is up and I have some sightseeing to do! checkya.