Author: Kristian Golding

I don’t know what the freaking hell is wrong with me (there are probably some people who could give some suggestions… wisearses) but lately I seem not to be able to get to sleep. I’ve been lying in bed for the last couple of hours trying to get to get some shut-eye but it seems impossible. My mind continues to race. I get up for a bit and play a few chords on guitar, and then I end up wishing I had my piano. Next I’m listening to some songs on my ipod, sampling anything from Rachmaninoff to Roxette to Rammstein. I’m freaking jumping around my apartment like the people in the iPod ads (except to Rach – can’t really jump around to classical… at least I haven’t yet figured out a way to yet). Why is this? Is it because the succulent, sumptuous, salivacious (???) pork ribs over here are just so good? Is it because the amount of fat in the food I’m eating is much more than it would be over in Oz? But hey – it’s all “low carbs”… yeah, whatever that actually means. Take the stairs every once in a while instead of the lift pilgrims. Maybe it’s not the food. Maybe it’s the humidity. Maybe it’s the fact that the air conditioning isn’t working properly at work and I’m so bloody cold I have to wear a jacket. Then I get outside and instantly I’m covered in water from condensation. Maybe the sudden changes in temperature are causing the meninge of my brain to expand and contract weirdly which could somehow adversely affect the sleeping centres of my brain, if they’re located on the periphery of the brain… which they probably aren’t… wtf am I talking about now???

Maybe I can’t get to sleep coz I’m looking forward to Christmas tomorrow (or rather, later on today). I ordered a bunch of stuff online on Monday, and I should be receiving it soon. Not getting the stuff instantly gives me time to get over the buyer’s remorse so when it finally does arrive I’m as happy as Larry.

I’ve taken on a promise to myself to not rely on other people as much as I used to. On several occasions now I’ve changed plans to wait for people who in the end never call to say they’ll be late or not even coming. Bastards. That really, really pi$$es me off. Screw ’em, I’ll make my plans without them.

And… how the heck do venus fly traps work? And why am I asking that question when I’m not even drunk? People answer that by saying ‘the doomed insect stimulates the cilia-like hairs which causes the trap to shut’. That ain’t enough I’m sorry. I think I concluded last time by saying that the stimulation of the hair may cause a cell laden with a saltier-than-normal substance to release said substance. It could also be less saltier than normal too I guess. Through osmosis and some sort of cascade effect enough water gets moved around which causes the trap to shut. That’s probably utter B.S. and I should really do some reading to find the true answer. Maybe then I could sleep…

Quick update: I’ve put up some of the pics from the Keys and some stuff from hurricane Frances. There ain’t a heck of a lot there (I think I’ve got more somewhere…), and I couldn’t think of any decent comments for some of them, but hey you’re reading this so you’ve obviously got nothing better to do anyway. Knock yerself out, yeeharrr! The Keys, Hurricane Frances

What – you want more? Ok. I’ve uploaded some movies to my Ozemail account. I’ve got two from the time I saw the booty shaking at the Clevelander in Miami’s South Beach. The other one is from the visit to the Everglades. All of them don’t have sound, sorry. For the Clevelander movies, put some RnB music on. For the Everglades movie, put your lips together and blow. Add a “whoa!” at the end when you see the camera shaking a bit (that’s me trying to hold onto the camera). The movies are in Quicktime format so you’ll need the player from Apple to view them. Also, if you can’t download the movies that’s probably because Ozemail have reached their download limit for the day. This is probably not much more than the 10MB space limit they give me. Cheap bastards. Try downloading them again another day.

Clevelander 1 – disabled

Clevelander 2 – disabled

Everglades – disabled

I don’t know why, but every place I want to go to or have been to in this part of the US seems to get hit by a hurricane. Orlando (Disney World) got hit a week before we went. Palm Beach got hit by Frances just last week. Jamaica got pummeled and now Ivan, not content with killing 60 odd people in the Caribbean, has somehow sneaked into the Gulf of Mexico and is poised to hit New Orleans. Of course that’s what everyone at work is talking about at the moment. I was reading this story this morning and that picture of traffic looks all too familiar. Apart from reading that article I was also reading the latest advisory on Ivan which I’ve got an excerpt from here:

IVAN CONTINUES AS AS A EXTREMELY DANGEROUS CATEGORY FOUR HURRICANE ON THE SAFFIR/SIMPSON SCALE HURRICANE SCALE…WITH MAXIMUM SUSTAINED WINDS NEAR 140 MPH…WITH HIGHER GUSTS. SOME FLUCTUATIONS IN INTENSITY ARE EXPECTED DURING THE NEXT 24 HOURS…BUT IVAN IS EXPECTED TO MAKE LANDFALL AS A MAJOR HURRICANE…CATEGORY

THREE OR HIGHER. OCCUPANTS OF HIGH-RISE BUILDINGS WITHIN THE HURRICANE WARNING AREA CAN EXPECT HIGHER WINDS THAN THOSE EXPERIENCED AT THE SURFACE…ABOUT ONE SAFFIR-SIMPSON CATEGORY HIGHER AT THE TOP OF A 30-STORY BUILDING. AFTER LANDFALL… HURRICANE FORCE WINDS COULD TO SPREAD INLAND UP TO 100 MILES NEAR THE PATH OF THE CENTER.

IVAN IS A LARGE HURRICANE…WITH HURRICANE FORCE WINDS EXTENDING OUTWARD UP TO 105 MILES FROM THE CENTER…AND TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS EXTENDING OUTWARD UP TO 260 MILES.

That is a HUGE hurricane! It’s much bigger and potentially much more destructive than Frances was and the worst part of it looks to hit New Orleans. Wow wow wow. In Australia I’m used to cold fronts as the worst sort of weather, and that’s it. In the southern parts of Oz we’re only really affected by slow droughts and quick bushfires (mostly lit by wankerchop fire bugs). This is just a completely other type of natural disaster that has me fascinated. Heaven forbid I was thinking of visiting Kansas – now they’re going to get tornadoes. It just amazes me how much the US gets hit by these natural disasters. Oh, add another tropical storm/hurricane to the list: Jeanne may hit the east coast of Florida. It seems to be heading pretty much in the same direction that Frances was. Is someone playing Sim City with the US? Now all I’m waiting for is a monster attack and then I’m out of here!

If anyone asked me what I did on the weekend, I’d have to be given some time to think about that. I sure as hell know what I felt – incredibly pissed off. In fact, I haven’t been that angry in a long time. Long story short, someone was supposed to catch a flight out on Saturday and we couldn’t find them anywhere as we were going to drive them to the airport. I spent 5 hours trying to locate this person and nearly got to the point of calling local hospitals. The hotel didn’t know where the person was – they were supposed to check out but hadn’t changed their hotel booking. At 8:30pm Saturday night, just as I was about to drive to work to attempt to find out flight details, the person showed up. They’d changed their flights till the next day and had spent the afternoon having fun in South Beach. The person didn’t let us know this because they didn’t want to wake us up. F$#K OFF! That has to be the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard and when they told me that that I got in my car and sped off back to my apartment. I tried to spin the wheels but an Oldsmobile Alero is too gutless for that. I was just so angry I couldn’t actually say anything. Not only did that incident stuff up my whole Saturday afternoon it also stuffed up my whole Saturday night. I was planning on going out and meeting some people in South Beach but of course that didn’t happen because it was too late to get ready and head off to Miami. Yeah, I’m still pretty angry about that.

Sunday was a much better day. I went swimming at Ft Lauderdale and was thinking how nice it would be to have a hammock. There was a guy later on who’d obviously had that idea before and had set up a hammock between two palm trees. What I saw next was just plain cool – he had a pet squirrel on a leash! I sat there watching the squirrel run around for a little while. I wish I had a camera with me at the time.

Talking about things on leashes, in downtown Ft Lauderdale the previous night I saw a couple walking around. They looked like a pretty normal couple until I noticed that the guy was holding a leash… that was attached to a collar around the woman’s neck. I’d heard that Key West (notorious for that sort of stuff) had been evacuated due to Hurricane Ivan (which will miss this part of Florida by a long shot) so that couple must have taken up temporary residence in Ft Lauderdale. Yerrrrr…